my double n

the thing is, when you really, really like someone

it makes your heart flutter

it makes you smile silly and read your sms over and over again

it makes you look forward to the weekend

and you heart skip a beat when you get a non-work/non-spam/non-promotion related email

but it also makes you sulk at the slightest thing

and you expect the other person to be a mind reader (when, believe me, they are not)

you expect them to miraculously know what you like and dont like

and you expect them to know when you’re angry

but because you really, really like this other person, the term making up after a fight brings a whole new meaning and just siting next to each quietly is enough, because you know that someone is just there when you call out

and the truth is

i like it, this really, really, really liking someone

is it weird? my previous post? the fact that i liken people i care a lot to bawang goreng?

ok let me explain myself…

the fact is, i really really like bawang goreng, even my baby brother loves bawang goreng, everytime i ask what he wants, he’ll point to the jar full of bawang goreng, when we are not looking, he takes the jar and topples the whole thing into his soup

my point is, no matter what the dish, be it mee goreng, mee kari or mee sup, bawang goreng is an important component..without it, yes you can still eat the dish, but something is not complete

same goes with certain people in your life, they leave, you definitely can survive, but barely…life just seems somehow incomplete without them

so get it?

ha-ha why am i explaining myself

on a side note…i need to sew up my cat tail….i already got my ears so i need to go go and sew my tail

or else i’ll end up as a girl with a weird hairband

if you live in my house, you will hear that phrase almost 20 times a day..

anyway, i was reading my sister’s blog, when i miss blogging..or actually i miss having something to blog about.. when you enter the rat race, eventually you turn into one of those drones that can only talk about checkpoints, relocation and performance appraisal

i miss going out with my best friend, hanging out at starbucks where the coffee doesn’t cost 14bucks a cup and buying at borders where the books are cheap (at least it is when you’re gettin your allowance in usd :D)

i miss all the anticipation of the semester break, and how naively you can’t wait to start working and change the world, (now, that you’re working you know that you still can, it would just take a lot longer than expected..so you can’t really be bothered..eheh)

oh well, things come and they go…so now its the time to look forward and make the best out of everything

 if only work doesn’t take so much out of me

 i still miss being a student

just felt like updating

work is busy, that’s all i can see..and i think you can figure it out by the lack of updates..i have no excuse..when the body is tired all you can think about is sleep.

to top it off, nothing remotely exciting happens to me anyway, so talking about work after coming back from work is

end of the year is coming..its weird…because its so fast..soon it will be end of the year of 08 and i will be 24…haha

my parents booked us a room at one world hotel for new years eve(yeah, my parents rock like that) to make up for the fact that they went to London for three weeks…it would be much fun-ner if we got a room at Royale Bintang The Curve, but it was fully booked since February! so we have to make do..plans for New Year? Sleep in haha

i really hope your life is socially better then mine

happy day~!

some people are lucky..

they see, they like, they get it..then if they see some other thing that they like….they leave the first one hanging, and go for the next one..and guess what, they do get it..

me? i’m not so lucky..usually by some twist of fate that i do get what i like..it usually doesn’t fit me very well, and in the end i’m the one left hanging by a shoestring..

most of the time when i do like it but can’t have it..i just hang around like some kitty cat hoping that someone will let me have that pick me up, pat me on my back and let me have that fish, and usually, people come people see and people leave

so lucky who? definitely not lucky me

some random thoughts of an extremely tired body

i’m starbucking again today..supposed to be working, but instead i’m wordpressing and facebooking

so yeah i’m into the whole facebook pulak now..i’m not addicted to it yet, but its kind of fun the amount of thngs you can do on it..

work is long hours and lots of job..stressful yes, but i love it..i think after the initial whole new place, systems and people stress wears off, it will be much better..but now i appreciate weekends so much more

i wont be able to blog as much as i like nowadays…i usually have lots to say but when you’re tired, you open the page and everything goes..along with my dream of writing my own poetry book..my poetry page is really collecting dust shelved by me in cyberspace..talking about shelves i need a new bookcase…

its weird that after almost 9 years of living away from home and my parents, i feel very lonely when my parents are away for the weekend..i guess not matter how much you grow up, its always comforting to know that you can come home to loving hands

i have a reunion next month..its been 10 years since first met my high school friends so we are using that as an excuse to escape to the beach and rekindle old friendship and have fun…i have to say i am looking forward to it in the way, not only because of the wrong reasons (although that has motivated me)…but just because i think it will be fun….not to forget the fact that now i can find more excuse to get new beachwear and all that jazz

talking nonsense and my training plan needs updating…so il be leaving now..

till next time i get the mood…

this will be the last time i update this blog from Apex, my old workplace

everything is packed, documents are shredded and i am ready to jet set to another work-desk

i have five minutes left so i better be quick

people have asked me why i quit my job

truth be told its a myriad of reasons,

i dont like it that the quality of my work depends on other people and i am in no control of how good i can perform(and no, we are not talking about bad team members here, just people who think they are god)

i need to wake up and like going to work, and that is why i quit

its too much to put in words the reasons i quit  so lets leave it at that

i’ll be seeing you

i owe you the story of melaka isn’t it?

melaka if i can say so, is maju..haven’t been there since the days we stop by umbai to celebrate my sister’s homecoming from SMS muar and that is 10 years ago..things have definitely change or i simply cannot get hold of any memories of melaka whatsoever apart from A Famosa and all things historical..

we reached lin’s house at 7pm, and swished her away in my cute vios to umbai…her parents were a bit worried because there were 6 of us, but we managed being the small beings that we they are..ehehe..met up with dayah and daia and it was already time to buka by the time we were there..it was like any other buka puasa just that there was the lingering thought that soon lin won’t be sitting in the flesh next to me anymore..

lin went yesterday and i am really thankful that i got to send her..we weren’t crying or anything because it felt like she was only going for a vacation..i guess only after two weeks of not seeing her will the reality of the situation sink in (haha, she’s only going for a year!)..i will miss her a lot and that is all i can say..i’m quite sad for irwan as well because i know what long distance relationship feels like..but as what lin said..its only a year! yeah, irwan lets simpan duit and pegi london next year

my waiting has come to an end..and i cannot say anything else other than Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah..truly Ramadhan do bring miracles, all you have to do is ask! now i’ve got to pay my nazar..hehee..

toodles…

i have to admit i have not been in the best of moods lately, which you may have guessed by the lack of updates..

when my mood takes a turn for the worse, my muse for writing seems to be lacking to, it seems like why write when there is so much to tell but you can’t and nobody can really understand how you feel anyway? so yeah, that is why i don’t write when i’m down in the dumps

my sister left last Monday, and my best friend  is leaving next Tuesday, which actually explains why i’m feeling so dreary..the other reason, oh well, i am waiting for the phone call to end my misery and as you and i both know..waiting is such an agony

but somehow, amid all the dampen spirits, i’ve always felt that ramadhan is a month of miracles, with the mysterious Lailatul Qadr lurking just ahead, you rush to chase the most coveted price of all, the purest resolution to do good and leave all that is bad, and the lights and songs that brings back dusty memories from long ago stirring up something in your heart..rushing to get baju kurungs and baju melayus done, staying up late at night to make the perfect pineapple tarts, filling green packets and imagining the happy faces of the receivers..somehow, the miracle may not be obvious but is there, like the smell of a freshly baked cake, lingering in the air

so there it is, i am still waiting and i will wait some more until my miracle arrives, in this most miraculous month of all

Happy Ramadhan to all Muslims, may it bring the miracle you have been waiting for